You know it’s the end of an era when the word “Nintendo” is no longer synonymous with a ‘shroom popping plumber or a sword wielding green-clad hero who keeps saving a princess that somehow nabbed the title role in the game. Instead “Nintendo” seems to call to mind controller based gimmicks and family friendly fun.
To those of us born with a rare brain defect that makes memorizing and effectively using button combos impossible, the Wii seemed to be an answer to an unspoken prayer. We all know how well that went. It was out of similar desperation that I was finally convinced to pick up The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. “No, seriously. It’s the same idea. You just use the stylus to point at stuff and kill it.”
I suppose the fact that Nintendo’s handheld also has pint-sized control gimmicks should come as no surprise, and the DS does have some neat things to offer, but the controls for Phantom Hourglass are just as temperamental as they are with games designed for its big brother.
Rather than use a standard directional pad or similar to control the main character like in almost every other free motion console game you drag the stylus across the screen in the direction you want Link to go and he dashes off heroically wherever you send him. And by “dashes off heroically” what I really mean is “careens around the screen like a drunken toddler.”
This pattern continues when you get various other weapons that rely on using the same “precision control” to direct them. It’s also frustrating when even simple moves boil down to: “To do a spin attack, draw a circle. To roll into something, draw a circle…but differently.”
I guess the one thing that is sort of a neat application of the touch screen is the ability to make notations on your map at any time about where stuff is or what order to do things in. Though, if you’ve ever had to sign your name on an electronic signature pad at the store, you probably have a pretty good idea of about how readable these notes are going to be. Most of the time, I found jotting it down on a piece of paper to be easier and just got annoyed when the game continually prompted me to scribble pointlessly on the map.
The plot itself is par for the course as Zelda games go, but annoying controls coupled with forced stealth and timed puzzles really sucks the fun out of the game.
Sadly, rather than being able to dismiss this entire thing as a fad that will rapidly disappear, it seems these sellable “innovative” controls are soon going to dominate the market. Heck, Phantom Hourglass already has a sequel that I’m sure will frustrate me every bit as much as this one. Both Nintendo and Sony already employ some sort of motion sensor technology, and more and more people are downloading games on their phones that are played with motion controls and touch screens. With Microsoft’s Project Natal expected to be released by the end of the year, it seems that game controls are only going to get weirder from here.
Though it is still possible that in a few years all of the annoying ploys out there designed to bring gaming to a broader audience will be packed up and stuck in a box in the basement next to the Virtual Boys and My Pal Pikachus of days gone by, but it’s starting to look more and more unlikely.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
It seems that Nintendo has been going out of their way to take huge leaps sideways, while every one else is concerned about moving forward. Both Sony and Microsoft took the idea of motion control and within a year, turned it into something that could be considered “approved” by the hardcore gamer. We will have to see if Sony’s Arc and Microsoft’s Project Natal deliver, but if Nintendo can make millions on their lack of efforts, the new big guns should have no problem at all.
I do love my DS though. Gotta have that Professor Layton.
Fading Fad I’d say…