If I See That Wizard One More Time…

by AlexW on July 5, 2010 · 0 comments

I remember how happy I was when my girlfriend surprised me and brought home a SNES out of nowhere. I remember how happy I was when I grabbed a copy of Super Mario World off eBay for five bucks. I remember making it to Lemmy’s Castle and spending the next hour of my life using four letter words like they were commas.

Funny thing about retro gaming, you forget about the parts of games that used to fill you with murderous rage. That guy above is a Magikoopa, which is Super Mario World lingo for “the most absurdly irritating enemy to exist in video games in the early 90′s”. He’s one of those little rage inducers that I forgot about. Seriously, screw this guy. This guy… THIS GUY…

You run forward, you die. You drop down, you die. You jump, you die. You die, you die, you die, you die. Thank God for that secret area with 1UP mushrooms before this castle, because Magikoopa is an absolute friggin nightmare.

This two legged screwjob will knock the floor out from under you, blow up the jumping point in front of you, and spawn on your head within 20 seconds. If you kill him, he doesn’t care. He just comes back because he said so. By the time you actually get past this little piece of.. erhm… this enemy, you’ll likely screw up the easy boss fight ahead of you, so drained and knowing if you mess up, you have to deal with him again.

I wish Magikoopa was real so that I could punch him. I wish I could find the person that created Magikoopa so that I could use him as a bat to beat the snot out of whoever was responsible for those rotating pillars in hell in the first God Of War. Or the other way around. One of those two people should be flogged with the other one.

Don’t get me wrong, Super Mario World is a phenomenal game, and I did eventually get past this punk, but my goodness did it take longer than it should. Thank God that’s over though, now I can relax and enjoy some other SNES titles that aren’t nearly as difficult. What’s this red cartridge over here… Spiderman : Maximum Carnage……

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