Holy shit, SEGA is back! Their comeback came out of nowhe--wait, WTF??
So what is it exactly? Well, to say it’s the love child of a Wii and Genesis is a bit too generous. The father is definitely the SEGA Genesis, as 20 of its launch titles are SEGA classics like Alex Kidd and Ecco the Dolphin, with the rest being crummy rip-offs of Wii Sports-type “games” for its motion controllers. But the mother is certainly not the Wii; yes, it may have a motion controller, but most of its genetic material comes from so-called wireless gaming systems. You know, those things that look like a cross between a sex toy and a router that you can find being sold for $80 near the cash registers of your local CVS, packed to the gills with shovelware that wouldn’t have passed muster fifteen years ago. The kind of thing ignorant, cheap, heartless bastards buy for their unfortunate children. Oh wait, that’s exactly what this thing is, except with the SEGA brand slapped on the side.
Honestly, I think it’s a cry for help. SEGA has finally been overwhelmed by the magnitude of its failure in recent years and has retreated into its memories of The Good Old Days, trying to pretend the world hasn’t moved on and left the doddering old fool wandering cluelessly around its porch, trying to keep its rheumy, paranoid eyes on the lookout for that young SNES whippersnapper. It’s really sad. Aren’t there any therapists out there for video game companies? Or maybe even retirement homes?
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
It does rather look like something your mother buys you instead of a real console. Poor SEGA, they used to be so relevant.
Sega is doing fine with game development. Unless the console boasts truly innovative game play, it’s a little late to join the party. However, I still have a heart for Sega, so I think it’s worth a test run.
It is just a glorified plug and and play machine guys
It’s just hard for me to think of SEGA as being above the line of failure when they’ve been doing their best to ruin Sonic for over a decade at least, after having been forced to bow out of the console wars.
Best line that i heard today:
“You know, those things that look like a cross between a sex toy and a router that you can find being sold for $80 near the cash registers of your local CVS, packed to the gills with shovelware that wouldn’t have passed muster fifteen years ago. The kind of thing ignorant, cheap, heartless bastards buy for their unfortunate children. Oh wait, that’s exactly what this thing is, except with the SEGA brand slapped on the side.”